Warning: Super Whiny Rambling Post.
Today my phone broke. There is no screen, its completely black. It works, it makes sounds, I get messages, emails, facebook notifications, but I can't read them. I can't even shut off my alarm.
I went to the AT&T store, they can't do anything. They would like to sell me a phone for $400.00 ish.
I asked on facebook if anyone had an old phone...no responses.
I think the most frustrating thing about this was my attitude. I became a crabby, annoyed 14 year old. I talked to my Dad on the phone and he didn't have the answer I wanted and suggested I call someone that would know. I replied with as much attitude as possible with a, "I can't call Dad, my phone doesn't work, I can't dial out!" He then told me to get a house phone to which I laughed, rolled my eyes, and said, "bye"(with 14 year old disgust.)
What in the world is wrong with me? I am not 14, I am 24. I know that I can not treat people the way I treated them today. If the worst thing in my life is that my phone doesn't work...really MaryChar...look at the bright side. YOU HAVE OPTIONS. If I have to I CAN buy a new phone. If not, people will just have to call me for a while(I can answer my phone, but that's it). I talked with some people at school, there is an option for a new phone there. My mom was on it right away trying to find me a phone online and talking to everyone she knew. I had looked on the online garage sale and there is a phone that is a bit more affordable than paying regular price. It's NOT the end of the world.
But, with out my phone I start to feel very lonely, even if I am surrounded by people. Why is this? I wish I could live more in the moment and not worry about being connected to others. I just get so worried someone might not be able to find me, or maybe I will get that text that I have been waiting for... I went for a walk on Saturday night, I brought my phone, not an abnormal thing for me to do. A friend on the walk asked me, "Why do you need your phone?", my other friend says, "O, that thing its attached to her hand.", and I say, "What if someone needs to get a hold of me?" I just feel like I can justify myself until the end of the world, for goodness sakes I am getting my masters in technology. I am suppose to tech savvy.
The real problem I have with my actions today is...I can barely handle going one day without my blackberry, but it doesn't even register if I go a whole day with out talking to God. Are my actions showing that I am relying on God? Do I show that He is all I really need? I don't think so. So, I sit here tonight asking for Grace, asking God to forgive me, and begging God to help refocus me on what really matters. Thank you for blessing me with a smartphone that keeps me so connected, and comforted, but please help me remember that a STUPID phone is not nearly as important as my time with You.
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